Romans 12:9
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is God."
Is my love sincere? Do I really hate evil? Do I cling to what is Good? It seems to me that I have those flip-flopped. I cling to what is evil and I hate what is Good. Lord, I hate what is good and I love what is evil. My soul longs for selfishness, for power, for fame, for porn, for drunkeness, for money, for my own will. God, sometimes I hate everything you are! But still, somehow, I find myself being drawn to you. God I know you love me, but I dont love myself. I once hated you but you still loved me. I was once an enemy but you consider me a friend. God I am tired of being lazy, luke-warm, and ordinary. God Change ME!
God, as I keep running away from you, keep bringing me close, keep calling my name, keep loving me so that I can finally find peace in my soul. My soul longs for something more. My soul longs for You!
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